


Welcome! Everything is fine.

by daisyrachel



Series: legends of the good place [1]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Funny, the good place AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 03:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12644832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyrachel/pseuds/daisyrachel
Summary: Sara blinked as she stared at the wall in front of her. Welcome! It reads, in bright green lettering. Everything is fine.





	Welcome! Everything is fine.

**Author's Note:**

> so um, thanks to agentmarymargaretskitz on tumblr for helping me with this i love the good place and i love legends so... this was gonna happen sooner or later.

Sara blinked as she stared at the wall in front of her. _Welcome!_ It reads, in bright green lettering. _Everything is fine._

 

She waits a moment and she hears the door open. A man with reddish-brown hair steps out. “Sara?” he calls, as if there’s anyone else in the room besides her. He finally finds her and nods. “Come on in.”

 

She stands up and follows the man to his office, sitting down in the chair across from his. “Hi Sara,” he says, taking his seat, “I’m Eobard. How are you today?”

 

“I’m great,” she says smiling, and truly means it. “Thanks for asking. Oh, one question,” she remembers. “Where am I? Who are you? And what’s going on?”

 

“Right,” said Eobard, pursing his lips. “You, Sara Lance, are dead. Your life on earth has ended, and you are now in your next phase of existence in the universe.”

 

Sara took a moment to readjust before smiling. “Cool. Cool. I have some questions.”

 

Eobard leans back, smiling softly. “I thought you might.”

 

“How did I die? I don’t remember.”

 

“Yes, um, in cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths, we erase the memories to allow for a peaceful transition. Are you sure you want to hear?” Sara nods. “All right, so you were in a grocery store parking lot. You dropped a bottle of something called ‘Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One’. And when you bent down to pick it up, a long column of shopping carts that were being returned to the shopping cart collection area rolled out of control and plowed right into you.”

 

Sara gritted her teeth. “Oof. That’s how I died?”

 

“No, sorry, there’s more. You were able to grab on to the front of the column of shopping carts, but it’d swept you right out into the street where you were struck and killed by a mobile billboard truck advertising an erectile dysfunction pill called ‘Engorge-ulate.’ Funnily enough, the first EMT to arrive was an ex-boyfriend of yours—“

 

“Okay, that’s—“ Sara calmed herself down. “I get it, thank you.”

 

Eobard raised his hands in surrender. “Oh, okay, sorry.”

 

“Um, so who was right? I mean about all of this?”

 

Eobard spun around in his chair a little. “Well, let’s see. Hindus are a little bit right, Muslims a little bit. Jews, Christians, Buddhists… every religion guessed about five percent, except for Rip Hunter.”

 

“Who’s Rip?”

 

“Well, Rip was a stoner kid who lived in Calvert during the 1970s. One night he got really high on mushrooms, and his best friend, Jonah, said, ‘Hey, what do you think happens after we die?’ And Rip just launched into this long monologue where he got, like, ninety-two percent correct. I mean, we couldn’t believe what we were hearing.” Eobard turned to the side and pointed at a picture on the wall. “That’s him actually, right up there. He’s pretty famous around here. I’m very lucky to have that.”

 

Sara looked up, a little nervous. “So, maybe my biggest question. Am I...” she stuttered a bit, “I mean, is this…” She pointed up while smiling, “or…” she gave a big thumb down, frowning.

 

Eobard sighed. “Well,” he began, “it’s not the heaven-or-hell idea that you were raised on. But generally speaking, in the afterlife, there’s a Good Place and a Bad Place.” He paused for dramatic effect. “You’re in the Good Place.” Sara breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re okay Sara. You’re in the Good Place.”

 

She shook her head and smiled. “Well that’s good.”

 

He grinned back at her. “It sure is. Okay, let’s take a walk, shall we?” He stood up and left the room.

 

She stood up to follow him and quickly turned back. “Oh, did I have a purse? NO, I’m dead, right. Okay.”

 

+

 

“So this is how it works,” said Eobard. “The Good Place id divided into distinct neighborhoods. Each one contains exactly three hundred and twenty two people who have been perfectly selected to blend together in a blissful, harmonic balance.”

 

Sara looked around, amazed. “Do all the neighborhoods look like this?”

 

“No, every neighborhood is unique. Some have warm weather, some cold. Some are cities, some farmland. But in each one,” he said, looking more serious, “every blade of grass, every ladybug, every detail has been precisely designed and calibrated for its residents.”

 

“There’s a lot of frozen yogurt places.”

 

“Yeah.” Eobard sighed. “That’s the one thing we put in all the neighborhoods. People love frozen yogurt. I don’t know what to tell you.” He blinked and turned his attention back to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. “You’re gonna have a million more questions, I know. For right now, better grab a seat. Movie’s about to begin.”

 

Sara blinked and walked towards a green lawn where she saw _exactly_ three hundred and twenty two people gathering. She sat in front of a large screen, where the words _The Good Place, Orientation: Day One_ appeared. Eobard ran across the screen. “Ah, hello everyone,” screen-Eobard said. “And welcome to your first day in the Afterlife! You were all, simply put, good people. But, how do we know that you were good? How are we sure?”

 

Screen-Eobard created the words _Good vs. Bad_ on the screen and continued. “In your time on earth, every one of your actions had a positive or a negative value, depending on how much good or bad that action put into the universe. Every sandwich you ate, every time you bought a magazine, every _single_ thing you did had an effect that rippled out over time, and ultimately created some amount of good or bad. You know how some people pull into the breakdown lane when there’s traffic, and they thinking to themselves ‘Ah, who cares? No one’s watching,’ We _were_ watching. Surprise!”

 

There are some light laughs from the audience, and screen-Eobard conjures up three coffins. “When you die, we calculate the total value of your life, using our perfectly accurate measuring system. Only the people with the very highest scores, the true cream of the crop, get to come her, to the Good Place.” Screen-Eobard paused. “What happens to everyone else, you ask? Don’t worry about it. The point it, you are here because you lived one of the very best lives that could be lived. _And_ you won’t be alone. Your true soul mate is here too.”

 

The crowd began to murmur. Screen-Eobard reacted in real time. “That’s right. Soul mates are real. One of the other people in your neighborhood is your actual soul mate, and you will spend eternity together. So welcome to eternal happiness. Welcome to _the Good Place_. Sponsored by, otters holding hands while they sleep. You know the way you feel when you see a picture of two otters holding hands? That’s how you’re gonna feel every day.” The audience clapped.

 

+

 

Sara walked with Eobard, _real_ Eobard, through a grass field. “So who’s in the Bad Place that would shock me?”

 

Eobard looked taken aback by the question. “Uh, well, Mozart, Picasso, Elvis, basically every artist ever, uh, every US president except Lincoln.”

 

Sara thought for a second before nodding. “That sounds about right. What about Florence Nightingale?”

 

“It was close, but, no, she didn’t make it.”

 

“Wow, all those amazing people down there, it just seems so hard to believe.”

 

“Again,” Eobard said, “It’s an incredibly selective system. Most people don’t make it her. But you, a lawyer who got innocent people off death row, you’re special Sara.” She smiled. “And, by the way, welcome to your new home. It’s perfect isn’t it?” Sara gasped, looking at what was apparently her cozy, color-blocked house. “You see, in the Good Place, every person gets to live in a home that perfectly matches his or her true essence.”

 

Sara nodded. “Cool. So I guess that’s why my house, for example, is this adorable little cottage, whereas other people might have homes that are bigger, like that one?” she asked, pointing to the mansion next door.

 

“Exactly! Oh, I’m so happy you get it.” They walked inside, and Eobard continued talking. “As you can see, the interior has been decorated just as you like it, in the Icelandic primitive style. Oh, oh, and, uh, of course, you love clowns, so…” Eobard gestured to a wall filled with nothing but clown paintings.

 

Sara smiled. “I do love clowns.”

 

“Now let me show you the, uh, the video system here.” He swiped his arm up and a screen with Sara’s name appeared on it, as well as several subcategories like dreams, memories, and home movies. “You can review everything that happened in your life from your point of view. There we go! This is your human rights mission to Ukraine. I mean, you got a ton of point for that one. It really put you over the top.”

 

Sara smiled at the screen when she heard a knock, but Eobard turned around before she could. “Oh Kendra, come on in.”

 

Sara turned to see an attractive woman walk in. “Sara? I’m Kendra Saunders, and, um, you are my soul mate.”

 

Eobard laughed and clapped. Sara smiled again. “Cool! Bring it in, girl.” The two embraced, and Eobard left, having several other people he needed to attend to.

 

Sara and Kendra sat down on her couch, and Sara began to speak. “So where are you from, Kendra?”

 

She grinned. “Well, I was born in Egypt, raised in Senegal, but my work took me all over the place. Australia, Hong Kong, Paris. What about you?”

 

“Uh, well,” Sara began, “I was born in Star City,”

 

“Mhmm,”

 

“And then I went to school in Central City. And then I moved back to Star City.” Kendra smiled brightly and shrugged. “Your English is amazing,” said Sara.

 

“Oh! I’m actually speaking French,” said Kendra, sounding excited. “This place just translates whatever you say into a language the other person can understand. So it’s incredible.”

 

“Whoa.”

 

“And now I want to say this.”

 

“Mm-kay.”

 

“Sara, I have spent my entire life in pursuit of fundamental truths about the universe. And now we can actually learn about them together as soul mates. It’s overwhelming.”

 

“Kendra,” Sara said, “You’ll stand by my side no matter what, right?”

 

“Kendra pulled back, confused. “Of course I will.”

 

“Promise me. Say, ‘I promise I will never betray you for any reason’.”

 

“Sara, I swear, that I will never say or do anything to cause you any harm.”

 

“Good,” Sara said, finally relieved. “Because those aren’t my memories.” She pointed at the screen, watching the look of shock on Kendra’s face. “I wasn’t a lawyer. I never went to the Ukraine. I _hate_ clowns. There’s been a big mistake.”

 

Kendra looked at her, finally understanding what she was saying. “You mean…” she said, trailing off.

 

Sara raised her hands up, almost in defeat. “I don’t belong here!” She grinned, hoping that Kendra would immediately accept.

 

Instead, she just looked stunned. “Wait, what?”

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment or kudos to show me you care! holla at me on tumblr : jewishraypalmer.tumblr.com


End file.
